Lunes..

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

It's back to Monday again..which means work. Yeah, I'm working now but I'm feeling terribly tired cos of the late night sleep. So to perk me up, I've decided to update my blog! Isn't that good news for everyone? =P

Anyway, after the last post, I'm sure people have seen the other side of me. The melancholic, troubled and unhappy side of me, of my life. Everyone's life is messed up one way or another. I'm sure everyone has 2 sides. A public side and a personal side. Even a story has 2 sides. I've always tried to project a positive and optimistic image. I don't want to dampen people's spirit with my own problems and certainly not to burden them with it. Surely they have enough other worries and problems in their lives. What good will it do them if I tell them my problems? Moreover, sometimes they can't help me with it. I know people always say, " just pour out your griefs to soothe yourself". There are different ways to let yourself go. Some people do that by telling a friend or family member, others write down in their blogs.

I choose to write down in my diary (not this blog). I can write as freely as possible, knowing no one will read it. I simply can't write down how I feel deep down inside in this blog. Perhaps I'm just not ready to open up this part of my life with everyone else. I dunno why is that so..perhaps to protect myself. From what? I dunno either. Somehow I will feel vulnerable if I know someone can read me easily and know me inside out. Does anyone of u feel the same way as I do? I don't talk to people about my problems doesn't mean I don't want to listen to others' problems. In fact, I am a good listener, even if I say so myself. But it's true. I really don't mind listetning to people. There are a few people who trust me enough to tell me their probs. And for that, I feel honoured and glad that they take this big step on their part to confide in me. I feel that this takes courage, which is something I'm sadly lacking. And in some ways, perhaps listening to their probs make me identify myself with them more. It gives me a sense of belonging, let me know I'm not alone. Also, I'm more than happy to give out advices and my own point of view but it's up to them whether they accept it or not. Friends are very important to me, so I will try to help them if it's within my ability.

So there it goes. Another entry that reveals a little more about myself. Maybe gradually..slowly..someday I may just be able to let everything go here instead of my diary....
travelled around the world at 1:04 AM