I posted this on my msn space first..to read the chinese words must change to unicode..those words are really touching and meaningful..from 'My lovely Kim Sam Soon", Korean drama..courtesy of Elaine! =)
Hmm, I'm involved with the IMF-World Bank convention starting from this week, stationed at The Fullerton Hotel (a local-based hotel but it's one of the best here). Sounds great right? But well, we didn't do anything much anyway..cos most of the students volunteers are posted to hotels to be info desk officers, which is basically just sit or stand there to wait for delegates to approach us and ask questions. sai kang job..haha..my legs almost gave way on the first day cos we had to stand for 8.5 hours. sigh..and there's nothing much for us to do except wait..-_- but at least i got to know new friends and had a great time sharing jokes..all kinds of jokes..and i actually laughed until tears rolled down. yeah..quite exaggerating but it's true! cos it's really funny..it's been quite a while since i had a good laugh =) And also learn something from experiences of others. but we really had nothing much to do..it was slightly better today thought cos the convention started only today. At least it's quite a good exposure even though we didn't exactly meet lots of people..but u will start noticing the way u talk and facial expression when facing the guests and also how to handle difficult guests. More like a PR job..but useful for social scenes. Oh, and my feet don't hurt anymore cos we start taking shifts during our shift instead of all 5 of us standing there and intimidate the guests. Haha..1 more week to go then it's term break and all the tests and presentations will be over! jiayou! =)
Anyway, some of u may know this, some may not. But whatever it is, I start to realize some things about myself recently and understand what is important to my values in life. I have never realized that I'm a straightforward and curious person. Ehh..not quite true..I try to be tactful and yet honest most of the times unless something really irks me. That's when my true blue cheenapok ah lian side surfaces..haha. As for curious..yeah..I guess I have always been curious..asking questions all the time..approaching different people with different questions. But I've never been straightforward or curious for certain things. But I suppose as u read more and see more, u realize that it's not true that it's better if u don't know certain things. A friend once asked me, isn't it better if we don't know certain things especially in relationships so that we won't get hurt? I would have agreed last time..but not now.
Ever heard of the book 'tuesdays with morrie'? I think most people have..the point is, I agree with most of the things morrie said in the book..same kind of thoughts but obviously not as philosophical or profound as him. But there's one that left a deep impression on me and it's something which I have never thought of it that way. we should go through every emotion/feeling. go through it thorougly and feel it right up your bones and remember it. so that if it's a bad thing, u will know it the next time when it's going to happen and avoid it or detach yourself from that feeling if it really happened to u. but if it's good thing, grab hold of it and make the best out of it. to me, this is just like conditioned reflex action. but we are only given one time to find it out or else we have to go through the same pain everytime if it's a bad thing and lament the missed opportunity if it's a good thing. it may seem like a lose-lose situation cos not everyone learns from it and remembers it. but from another point of view, the sooner u grasp the feeling, the less pain u will go through as compared to the rest. so why not go through it sooner rather than later, why not go through it when u know that u are ready to find out more about it? I would rather know certain things than keep wondering until I'm really old and regret not asking. I hate the feeling of being regret..a very common word but leaves a bitter taste in everyone's mouth. So would u rather have that bitter taste in your mouth forever or get hurt once and remember it for the rest of your life?
As for my values in life..I have never thought that honesty would be so important to me. Yeah..obviously I have lied before..and lots of times I would say. But as I grow older, I realize that honesty is really important even though u might be punished for it or not get rewarded for it. But at least u tell the truth and the true feelings inside u. To me, honesty and being straightforward is the same thing. Being straightforward may hurt someone, so does honesty. So even if being honest will hurt someone, I think it's worth it cos I suppose all of us have to learn after every lesson in life. That's when the test of seeing who can survive this comes in. I believe that everything happens for a reason if we reflect upon it. I don't like people being dishonest with me..even if it's a white lie. I'm not that weak..even if I'm really that weak..it's time for me to be stronger anyway. There are lots of other things in life waiting to assault me along the way. I won't want to skip any lesson I can learn in life..that's what we are here for, right? To learn, grow and enrich yourself.
And after reading Daisy's latest post..it makes me wonder again...Why can't everyone be simple and straightforward so that all of us don't need to guess what the others are thinking? What's holdings us back? The feelings of the other party or is it our pride which is stopping us? Why can't life be easier and we can do whatever we like? Why do we have to do what the society deems as the 'right'? Why can't we define what's right ourselves? Why do we have to be so practical in everything and not doing what we like? Why do we have to come into this world and work so hard just for money and leave this world just like that? How many people can truly say that they have done what they really want to do in this world before they leave instead of what they have to do? What satisfaction do we gain if we have so much money but yet we can't really do what we love or spend time with the people we love?
Sigh..I think I really have lots of things to say..I can't keep emails short..and neither can I keep blog post short. I think I am too free..if not why am I thinking so much? Will I even get answers for all those questions? I guess I really like to contradict and confuse myself bah..but at least all the things that have happened in my life so far have helped me understand myself better and my vision is no longer that blur..=)
我看开了! 去爱吧 如同从来没有受过伤害一样 跳舞吧 如同没有任何人注视你一样 唱歌吧 如同没有任何人聆听一样 工作吧 如同不需要金钱一样 活着吧 如同今日是末日一样