Thursday, February 22, 2007

so screwed for today's quiz. but i think it's the same for everyone? argh. anyway, bwahaha, those germans were presenting today and the prof (also german) asked one of them who's presenting at that time,"have u been to army?" the other two were laughing like crazy. it's pretty funny..cos it's kinda obvious why he asked that but that poor (yeah, right..whatever) guy looked confused and thought it's about his figure (which is average). but well, the prof asked that it's cos he's so soft-spoken! omg! i think even all the girls in the class could speak louder than him. =P i was sitting at the last row and had trouble hearing him..had to strain my ears. is he really THAT shy? anyway, i don't pity him cos he has this arrogant look on his face sometimes..but yet he seemed embarrassed and shy at the same time when being asked that question. hahaha..that's my entertainment on every wednesday..those unfriendly, damn smart (their hobby is tracking the stock market btw) and funny germans.

i think marriage is good for my bro. he has changed. but i think the prospect of having a kid is the main catalyst for the change. he's no longer the bad-tempered bro. instead, he's showing his tender side for his daughter who's still in the womb and also da sao, taking care of her when she's sick. it's heartwarming. this shows me that love does actually exist and two different persons can really come together and care for each other and live together for the rest of their lives (albeit it may not be peacefully throughout..). just 2 more months. how time flies. 9 months don't seem at all..hmm..weird. but why does post-exchange days seem so long? hmmmmm..anyway, i think it's amazing how a child can change people. =) it's all for the better and i'm glad for the change. and i think this child has her dad at her fingers..haha. she's going to be his vice and already has death grip on her dad. heh..btw, i'm not saying all these cos i know he's going to read my blog. (yes, he happened to know my blog add when using my laptop..sheeesh!) it's really how i think..

i suppose i have said this a lot of times. how can people be excited about the idea of starting work early and continue doing it for the rest of their lives? and, not that i don't want to have a job, it's really that difficult to get into a top bank and the division u want. perhaps i should change my focus and do something else instead. AND i hate it when people impose their thoughts on me. how u think is your business..don't try to guess what i'm thinking. even worse, don't think that u will know what i'm thinking just cos u have known me forever..u can never guess what i'm thinking. and i don't have to tell u everything i do..that's ridiculous! and like i've always said, everyone has different dreams and aims in life. their definition of life is different. i don't want to be at the top of the world cos i will never be and i don't want to be. i just want to be my ordinary self, special in my own ways and living my own happy life in my own world.

i'm so irritated..and i dunno about all of u..but i'm still not sure what i want to be in the future. there's so many things out there and which one do i know is suitable for me? are u doing what u want/like to do or u have no choice, but to do it cos u just want to earn a living? or is it that in order to achieve the aim of something else, u are doing something u don't like? actually, i'm happy with the idea of studying finance even though it's really not easy for me. cos the dynamics of a financial world is fascinating and it's truly from there whereby u can see how borderless this world has really become, at least this is what it seems to me. every wednesday i'm listening to stories from this prof who has incredible corporate banking experience. the prospect of flying around the world and meeting people excite me. but not the prospect of bootlicking those rich people or be at the top of the hierachy (if u can even see the top). i have so many things to say about this but somehow my thoughts are not clearly structured right now..sighh..bottom line is: i'm not sure of my future at all. if all the banks/companies wanna hire the 2nd Uppers and above, what's left for those who fail to achieve that? and i truly believe some banks really mean what they say when they state that they want 2nd Uppers and above.

anyway, on a totally unrelated matter, what's done cannot be undone. i've just witnessed that. sometimes u don't mean what u did or said in a fit of anger. but really, the damage has been done. people are hurt in the process of it. u can't turn the clock back and undo it. have to live with it and accept the fact. or do some damage control. but sometimes i wish that humans don't have prides..cos prides are always in the way of taking the first step to admit that u are at fault and apologize. how about u? will u admit that u are wrong when it's truly your fault? or when both parties have fault? hmmm..
travelled around the world at 12:04 AM